Time Won't Fly (it's like i'm paralyzed by it)
by thetideisrising
Summary: "In the end, no one's opinion of you counts to me except for my own, sweetheart" or an AU in which Ressler and Keen are engaged when she goes on the run and a pivotal moment in their relationship revisits Ressler as a reminder of what once was.


**I hope you guys enjoy this one, it's kind of hard to explain, but I think it's a pretty fun read. I mention GAD meds in here once, so if that's a trigger, here's your warning. Also, I do not own Elizabeth Keen or Donald Ressler or The Blacklist okay enjoy!**

It was really, _really_ cold. Her hands were trembling in thick gloves and a red plaid scarf wrapped tightly around her neck as she leaned forward in the drivers seat, determined to beat the upcoming blizzard in the last twenty miles of their drive. In the passenger seat Don messed with the radio, his left arm in a sling.

The sling, honestly, was the only reason why they were in the predicament in the first place. Four days before the road trip, he had tackled a sniper that was aiming for Liz, breaking his arm in two places in the fight that ignited after his reckless maneuver. She had tried to be mad at first, but resulted to crying in frustration and relief. Cooper had told him to take the next two weeks off, due to Christmas approaching in the following week. He asked if it would be okay to steal Liz away as well, and Cooper, noticing the shiny ring on her right hand agreed. He called up his mother, and announced to Liz the following day that for the first time in five years he would be traveling to Buffalo for Christmas dinner with his family, and that, if she'd like, she was invited to join him.

Fast forward to Liz's anxiety beginning to subtly show as she gnawed on her bottom lip, quietly signing along to the radio instead of her usual loud voice as they approached the last ten miles of their drive. Ressler had a huge family; his parents were both only children and they had wanted to have multiple children. He had two sisters, two brothers, five nephews, three nieces and another one on the way.

He noticed the change in her in the last five miles, his right arm lightly grasping her shoulder. "You okay?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

She shrugged, shaking her head. "I'm fine, it's just…"

He played with a loose strand of hair to encourage her to keep talking.

"There's so many people, and the last time you were here was with Audrey. Your parents will probably despise me, being engaged to you after you had such a promising future with her."

He laughed, deciding to lean his head on her shoulder. "They'll love you Liz, they've been trying to get me married off since Will and Karen got married. Besides, you already know Samantha, Kyle and little Brett. You'll be fine."

They pulled into the driveway just as the snow began to fall, and she got out of the car, holding the door open for him and leaning across him to help him unbuckle, to which he responded to with a rough, "I can unbuckle myself just fine, Liz."

She chuckled, pulling their shared suitcase out of the trunk just as the front door opened.

"Donnie!" a gruff voice called from the doorway, stepping outside.

Liz turned toward the source as Don moved toward the man, hugging him tightly.

"Dad, this is my fiancée Liz," he said once he pulled away, gesturing toward Liz who smiled warmly, raising a hand in greeting as she struggled with the hatch.

He moved toward her attempting to take the suitcase from her.

"It's fine Ress, I got it," she murmured, nearly slipping on the ice as she managed to shut the hatch.

"Are you sure, sweetie, you know that you're not too good on your feet in the ice and it's starting to snow harder –"

"Damn it Ressler! You have a freaking broken arm; _you_ are the one who needs to get inside, not me. I know that you are not good at playing patient but I got this, get inside," she said in a commanding tone, slight frustration creeping into her voice.

He smirked, glancing at her with amusement in his eyes. "Are we on the clock? Do I need to call you Keen?" he said jokingly.

She replied by punching him in the shoulder as she walked by, his Dad opening the door for her. He hissed in response, grumbling in pain as she smiled brightly.

"I don't think we've properly met, Don isn't the best at introductions," she said mischievously. "I'm his fiancée, Elizabeth Keen, but you can call me Liz if you'd like," she said, shaking his had as he followed her inside, Don trailing behind.

"I'm Jeff," he responded, gripping her hand firmly. "You put him in his place, I like you," he added as an afterthought.

She blushed, taking off her scarf and wrapping it around the last post on the railing for the stairs.

"Uncle Donnie!" a blonde girl squealed as she ran into the doorway, tackling his legs in a hug.

Don chuckled, bending down to ruffle her hair. "How are you doing, kiddo?" he asked, scooping her up with his good arm.

"Sarah!" another woman scolded, coming into view as she entered the large foyer from what Liz guessed to be the living room.

Unlike Sarah, her blonde hair was cut in a bob and was obviously dyed. The dark tan that covered her puzzled Liz as she ran the comparisons between her and Don; he was easily sunburned due to his ginger complexion. The only thing they had in common was the shape and color of his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, I'm Lindsay, Donnie's older sister," she said apologetically, walking by to grab Sarah from his loose grip. "And this is my daughter, Sarah." She glanced around, visibly confused. "My husband and my son must have gone upstairs," she said to herself.

Liz nodded, smiling warmly. "I'm Liz," she said, keeping her introduction as short as possible.

Lindsay's eyes widened in recognition. "Oh! You're Donnie's fiancée aren't you? Mom was so mad when she found out that he was trying to get married again, she flipping _loved_ Audrey, but I knew that it was only a matter of time, it's not like Donnie could mope around forever," she continued oblivious to the color draining from Liz's face. "Anyway, you seem nice enough, although you do need to gain some weight, you're purely _bones,_ it's just lil' Donnie, nobody that impressive to diet for," she said, winking at her. "Mom left for night shift, so it's just us. Samantha called and said that she'll be in tomorrow, they'll need someone to pick them up from the airport, they didn't want to drive up in the storm," she said, directing her words to Don and Jeff.

They both nodded and Liz cleared her throat. "Excuse me, but could I take this to where we're going to sleep?" she asked, blushing slightly.

Don, knowing the slight gleam of sorrow in her eyes, immediately moved toward her, his right hand pressing against the small of her back. "Of course Liz, I'll take you up."

He climbed the carpeted set of stairs to a landing, with her right on his heels. He led them down the hallway, turning off into the fourth room on the left. She gasped at the size of it, the light blue walls soothing her as she took in the queen bed that was centered on the largest wall, two nightstands on either side. She lugged the suitcase to the closet, shoving it in and closing the door. Don sat on the bed, and she flopped beside him, burying her head in the pillow.

"Did you bring your anxiety medicine, sweetie?" he asked softly after a moment, and she weakly nodded into the pillow.

He stood up, rummaging for the bottle in her purse, and walking into the attached bathroom to fill up a Dixie cup with water. Returning to the room, he sat down next to her head, nudging her with his knee. She sat up, leaning against him as she grabbed the bottle from the nightstand, unscrewing it and dumping two white pills into her hand, grasping the cup from him.

"It's eight o'clock," he urged, knowing that for the medicine to take any affect it had to be consumed at the same time everyday.

She nodded, swallowing the pills and downing the water.

He discarded the cup, laying beside her to cuddle her into his side.

"This was my room," he supplied after a moment, as he felt her begin to tremble. "It was hard growing up with all of them. My mom wasn't too keen on the idea of my joining the FBI. Growing up, she just had no idea what to do with me. Lindsay, as you can see was the drama queen, so when she decided to move to LA to be a real estate agent, she wasn't shocked." He shrugged, twirling her hair. "My brothers both work in the health care system, like my mom. Will's a pharmacist at the same hospital my mom works in, and Nick's a neurologist in downtown Buffalo. It wasn't really a surprise when Samantha declared that she wanted to be a professor, University of Maryland was recruiting people from up here, and when they heard that she picked up Arabic in college, she immediately got a job and my mom was _thrilled."_

He sighed, closing his eyes. "Then there was me, granted I am older than Samantha and Nick, but for the longest time I just felt like my life still hadn't started yet, even though I played ice hockey, and I was a boy scout and stuff, but nothing fucking felt right. Then one day, in college, a bunch of FBI agents busted through my hall, looking for my roommate's friend. The way they took him down was incredible, and the fact that none of them showed emotions spoke to me. The next day I went to guidance and changed my major from accounting to criminal justice, determined to get into the FBI. My mom was _livid_ with me and tried to convince me to switch back. In the end I accomplished my goal and her opinion was invalid."

He rolled her over, looking at her in the eye, to which she gave him a watery smile.

"Whatever my mom says to you, if she tries to compare you to Audrey … just fucking ignore it. In the end, no one's opinion of you counts to me except for my own, sweetheart"

He leaned forward, pressing kisses to her forehead and the tip of her nose, smiling at her. She nodded in response, smiling back, and wrapping her arms around him.

"Can we go to sleep?" she asked quietly, and he laughed.

"Of course, sweetie."

By the end of the two weeks, Liz had proven herself worthy in his mother's eyes, and they had managed to have a great time.

When she's framed that May, her image plastered across every television screen across the nation, a box arrives at the door to their apartment. (He guesses it's just his now.) Hudson barks happily as he opens the door. A frown has been permanently etched on his face since she shot Connolly, and he's confused because he knows that Samantha, Kyle, Brett and his new niece Diana are coming over in another three hours, and it's so unlike Samantha to be this early.

When he opens the door to reveal a box, he checks the address, and seeing that it's from his parents, he makes the reckless decision to not call the office first, and he tears it open. He can't help the tears that begin to fall as Liz's plaid scarf from their trip to Buffalo falls out and he scoops it up, his hands trembling as he grasps he letter that sits in the bottom of the box.

 _Donnie,_

 _I must admit that at first I was terrified of you dating someone else who wasn't Audrey. She was brilliant for you, honestly. She completed you in so many ways, and was always there to keep you from falling off the proverbial deep end when it came to your job. Though you fight anyone who says this, you have a tendency to become near obsessive when it comes to doing what you believe is right, which is why I had my reserves about you joining the FBI in the first place. And when you brought Liz home, I thought you went crazy. But as I began to get to know her, I realized that she was perfect for you, and she completed you in ways that Audrey never could. She is the person who pulls you away from your job and in spite of all of the stuff that is going on right now, I strongly believe that Liz is innocent in all of this and I know that this must be tearing you in a thousand directions. Believe me, this breaks my heart. As sappy as it sounds, remember that she is different from your other cases, and that you love this woman. I hope you'll do the right thing._

 _Mom xoxo_

Dropping the letter on the floor, and inhaling the scent of her through the piece of material, and he vows to himself to clear her name, even if it means giving up on his own virtues.

 _But you keep my old scarf from that very first week_

' _Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me_

 _You can't get rid of it 'cause you remember it all too well_

 **I hope you guys enjoyed! I've got some more keenler before this hiatus ends :-) please review xx**


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